i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
