i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
