i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
