dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
