id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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