I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
