u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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