hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
should my penis look like a turkey
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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