I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
