hell yes lets make some ravioli
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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