Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
do nipples grow back?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
