Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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