Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
