I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize