never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
