My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
