Having a random hookup so left but love u
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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