She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
there was a trapeze. enough said
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
