But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
