Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
