you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
