Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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