This is not my ceiling
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
