I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
