we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize