I cockslap morals
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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