im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Randomize
