I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
How's work?
Spinning.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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