Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize