when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
