is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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