Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
