the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
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