This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
