OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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