did you get engaged???
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
