The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
We got so high we made milksteak
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
