his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
This is the high leading the old right now
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
