So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He? As in you personified your dick?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
