I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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