I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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