Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize