and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
