Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
