All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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