is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
