capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
