So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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