Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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