i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
