I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
