my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
