Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
This girl is more easily done than said...
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
