He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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