and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize