I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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