Define "chronic" masturbator.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
