You work out of a Hotel?
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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