Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Randomize
