im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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