This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
