Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
