dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
