I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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