I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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