We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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