So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
