I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
