is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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